Hopeless Wanderer
by DespiteGatsby
Summary: We tried so hard to live in the truth. But do not tell me all is fine. When I lose my head I lose my spine. Castiel/Meg
1. Free To Be You And Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any characters affiliated stated in the latter.**

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**So, I recently decided that my Supernatural Ship (which took forever to discover) would be Dean with Anna/Burgers, Sam with Ruby/His Laptop, Bobby with Beer/Books, and Castiel with Meg/The Bees. There's just something about the way Castiel and Meg act towards each other that makes me smile. Enjoy. P.S. Everything I write in italics is a flashback.**

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_**It seems that all my bridges have been burnt.**_

_**But you say that's exactly how this "grace" thing works.**_

_**It's not the long walk home that will change this heart.**_

_**But the welcome I receive with the restart.**_

_**- Mumford & Sons: Roll Away Your Stone -**_

He would never say "no" to the Winchesters. He couldn't. They were his friends and denying them felt like a sin. But it had gotten to a point where he could barely manage Heaven, himself, and that "woman." Well, she wasn't quite a woman, rather the creature inside. Her vessel was beautiful... She carried herself like she knew where she was headed and how she was going to kick some ass. Her voice was smooth, almost alluring, and the scent of the perfume she wore was intoxicating. Castiel was a walking contradiction. An Angel of the Lord having affairs with A Demon of Lucifer. But she took care of him in his time of absolute need. At first, it took him by surprise that she cared so much for him. Maybe, he thought, it was elaborate ruse to get him to fall. He was still, as Meg called it, "connected to the home office". That made him dangerous. Castiel didn't want to admit it, but he could smite Meg to bits in seconds.

_If_ he wanted to.

And he didn't want to.

She would spend hours with him in the day-room chatting about the bees and other random facts that he would bring up. When it was time for lunch, they would eat together but exchange fewer words. They were rarely seen without one another. It occurred to Meg that Castiel's eggs were scrambled. When he took on Sam's burden, something in his head clicked and turned on the fryer. He was not as cold as he used to be. Romping around with the Brothers Grimm turned him to normalcy only slightly but after he took on the burden, he was only awake for a few weeks before passing out and never waking up. In those weeks, Meg listened to him talk about how much guilt he felt. He never knew that kind of feeling existed. She wouldn't reassure him because that's not what she was here for.

She would only listen.

One day, when they were in the day-room, the sun was beaming through like it had done for the past few days but this time, Castiel locked his gaze on the flitters of dust even harder today.

XXXXX

_"They move in such peculiar ways," Castiel remarked about the dust._

_Meg didn't look up from her magazine, she only sighed. "It's just dust, Clarence."_

_Castiel tilted his head to the side only slightly, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "They remind me of you."_

_This time, his words struck her and she slapped her magazine closed. For some reason, every time Castiel complimented her she felt insulted. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to feel any admiration for her. She was here to do one thing: Watch over him. Sam and Dean had no idea how he would turn out. They didn't know if he would return to normal or stay in the looney bin for the rest of eternity. What they did know, however, was that they couldn't be there to watch him 24/7._

_So she did._

_Meg glared at him for a moment, "That's ridiculous. Why?"_

_Castiel looked at her with those blue puppy eyes and smiled wider. "They're free."_

_Meg laughed at him and patted his hand that sat on the table. "Honey, I'm far from free."_

_Castiel frowned and she knew she upset him. "You can do anything you want, Meg."_

_She left her hand on his and her face twisted into some sort of sadness. "That's the catch, Clarence... I can't do anything I want. At least not anymore"_

_Castiel's fingers curled around her small hand and she looked at him with slight confusion. She wasn't a hand holder and neither was he but maybe it was high time for them to get to know each other better._

_"I think," Castiel started, sitting up on the seat, "That you think you're trapped with Crowley."_

_"I am." Meg retorted harshly._

_Castiel shook his head and looked down at their hands intertwined within one another. His voice got much more somber, deeper than it's usual pep. "No, you're not." Castiel tightened his hold on her slightly, a comforting squeeze. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, sweetheart."_

_"Don't call me that," Meg stated solidly. She slipped her hand from under his and stood up. "Maybe you should reevaluate what you're talking about, Clarence. You think you know what's up but you're still oblivious since the first day we met."_

_"Don't call me that." Castiel said flatly, furrowing his eyebrows, and learning the tone from Meg. She raised an eyebrow at his sudden resort. He looked up at her, his eyes falling into that state of sadness. "I'm sorry." He said to her quietly. "I did not appreciate my tone with you, Meg." He stood up to join her wherever she was headed. "You can call me whatever you want."_

_Meg chuckled and appreciated his apology although it was hardly necessary. She knew Castiel was the resolving type. He didn't like to fight demons and monsters, much less his own Kin._

_"Let's go, hon." Meg curled her hand into his and lead him back to his room for his pills that had no affect._

XXXXX

Dean and Sam waited for Castiel to appear. They had been praying for over an hour and there was no response. Wherever he was, it kept him busy enough to ignore the Winchesters.

"Come on..." Dean scoffed, folding his arms.

"Maybe he's in trouble," Sam said quietly.

"I doubt he's in any trouble," Dean said flatly. "He's just being difficult."

Sam shrugged, "You remember what Meg said, Dean. She said he was different now."

When Castiel woke up not only two weeks ago, Meg called. She told the boys that something was different from when he went to sleep. Something in his head turned off and it made him as harmless as the bees he acquainted himself with.

Now the brothers had to wait.

And Dean hated waiting.

He already lost Cas once and he wasn't going to lose him again. He was their brother. Although the flesh and bone did not belong to him, his feelings, if they were really there, were all his own. Castiel felt sympathy for them and perhaps love. They treated him like he was one of them and maybe that's because he _was_. At first, it was just Dean and Sam. On the road alone. When Dean went to Hell, it was Sam. Alone. After Castiel raised him, Dean practically owed him his life but the angel didn't want that in return. He just wanted their help.

Dean shook his head and Sam noticed his immediate distress. "I'm sick of this..." He looked up to the ceiling as if Cas was going to fall from it at any second. "Cas, we can't play sitting ducks anymore. You have to help us out, man. I know you're busy but remember what I told you? Whenever we need you, spare us _at least_ ten seconds."

That familiar sound of ruffling wings made Dean turn to see Castiel... and Meg.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked harshly.

Castiel glanced to Meg and his eyes then fell on Dean, confusion within them. "You... prayed for me."

Dean shook his head, "Not you," His eyes then averted to Meg. "You."

"This is how I get around," Meg toned, patting Castiel on the arm. "My little cloud-hopper."

Castiel blushed ever-so-slightly, his bright blue eyes softening at Meg's new pet name. "What can I do for you, Dean?"

The Winchester sighed deeply. "It's Crowley."

Meg's grip tightened on Castiel's arm at the mention of that name. He looked down at her, her face twisted in rage. "You called him?" Meg seethed. "What the hell compelled you to do something so stupid?"

"He had something we needed. Turns out that one thing we needed he doesn't have." Dean paced over to a little vile of blood. "He tricked us."

"You should have known better." Meg deadpanned.

Dean tossed the vile to Sam who threw it into the wastebasket. "We need his blood and I don't think he'll give it to us." Sam inquired.

Meg scoffed and took a step forward, avoiding the Devil's Trap on the floor. "You're damn skippy he wont give it to you. You'll have to fight him tooth and claw for it."

Cas dipped his head down to Meg's ear and whispered something to her causing her to smile and shake her head.

Dean pointed at Cas, "What did he say to you?"

The demon smirked and crossed her arms, "It's none of your business, Dean-O."

Sam looked to Dean who's face twisted into more rage. The fact that Meg was with Castiel enraged him. To him, it wasn't right. He was an angel and she was a damned demon. It's not like they were "together" but she was always with him. Maybe it was just Dean's automatic judgement of someone he didn't know too well. For all he knew Meg could be down-to-earth and _not_ a cold bitch.

"Cas, what did you say to Meg?" Dean ground out.

"Dean..." Sam said quietly.

Dean held his hand up against Sam. "Castiel." He addressed him by his full name. The angel looked up at his friend, eyes blue as ever. He sighed and shifted nervously.

"I told her..." He looked to Meg who nodded to him as if she was giving him permission. "I told her that a Giant Panda can eat up to 28 pounds of bamboo a day." He smiled a bit, feeling accomplished on knowing such a fact.

Dean opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. How did he respond to something as ridiculous as that? "You know what, Cas, take a break. If we need you, we'll call you." Dean shook his head and walked over to the fridge to crack a cold one.

"I'm sorry I am not much help at the moment." Cas started. "But I'm sure I could make it up to you."

"Don't pull out the honey, Castiel." Meg mumbled under her breath.

He nodded, "Maybe another time then?"

Sam moved across the room and patted Castiel on the shoulder. "It's ok, Cas. Thank's for coming... it was good to see you."

Meg looked up to Castiel who was at least a head taller than her and noticed that his gaze was distant. "Let's go." She asked him quietly, as if he was the only other being in the room.

The angel nodded and curled his hand through Meg's and looked up at the ceiling. In a rustle of wings and loose paper that fluttered to the ground, Castiel and Meg were gone.

**A/N: Well, what I thought was going to be a one shot will turn into a short multi-chapter! Meg was the hardest to write because unlike Dean, Sam, and Castiel, Meg has a very hard personality. She's really sly and meager, but she's also kick-ass and sarcastic. So getting around her traits and personality was defiantly not fun. I think I put together a whole Meg compilation on YouTube just so I could watch clips with her in them so I could character delve good enough. Anyways, what you're going to be reading is roughly at the end of season 7 and into season 8-ish.**


	2. Suit And Tie

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

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**Just in case you guys want to be punched in the feels a little harder, I have a Castiel Feels playlist and a Megstiel Feels playlist. WARNING: THERE IS A LOT OF MUMFORD AND SONS BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON ALL OF THEIR SONGS ARE WEIRDLY ACCURATE TO SUPERNATURAL, CASTIEL, OR MEGSTIEL. SO... YEAH! Look up lyrics!**

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**Castiel:**

**Babel by Mumford and Sons**

**Below my Feet by Mumford and Sons**

**Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons**

**Lunatic Fringe by Red Rider**

**Radioactive by Imagine Dragons**

**Roll Away your Stone by Mumford and Sons**

**Skyfall by Adele**

**Splendor by M83**

**Tiger Mountain Peasant Song by Fleet Foxes**

**Timshel by Mumford and Sons**

**Trouble Weighs a Ton by Dan Auerbach**

**Megstiel:**

**Ghosts That We Knew by Mumford and Sons**

**Raise Your Weapon by Deadmau5**

**White Blank Page by Mumford and Sons**

**Hideaway by Karen O and the Kids**

**Your Protector by Fleet Foxes**

**After the Storm by Mumford and Sons**

**Rivers and Roads by The Head and The Heart**

**Reminder by Mumford and Sons**

**Weights and Measures by Dry the River**

**Wonderwall by Ryan Adams**

**The Scientist by Coldplay**

**Hopeless Wanderer by Mumford and Sons**

**Civilian by Wye Oak**

**Wolves by Ego Likeness**

**Chapter 2: Suit And Tie**

After Castiel and Meg left the Winchesters, they returned to the motel that they stayed at. A few scraps of paper swished to the ground as the angel made his quick descent. Meg still looked flustered from what Dean had told her and Castiel knew better than to question what was the matter.

Meg was like an lion, or in this case, a lioness, and Crowley was a horribly annoying hyena. He kept pushing her buttons because he knew it would make him laugh. Which in this case only made Meg angrier. She was pacing in her own bubble, balling her fists until her knuckles were white.

"I can't believe that son of a bitch!" She growled. Castiel watched her pace, his solemn blue eyes following her. He continued to stand and watch until she noticed. Meg halted and glared at him fiercely. "Why do you keep staring at me like that?" She demanded.

Castiel smiled, "You're cute when you're angry."

Meg let her hands free and she sighed. For some reason, his words calmed her but to an extent as she was still furious with Sam and Dean. "What did we talk about, Cas?"

"We talk about a lot of things." He responded, shrugging cluelessly.

Meg shook her head, "Never mind..." She sat down on the bed and ran a hand through her brown locks. "You know what this means right?"

Castiel, still standing in his little spot, said "Crowley will come for you because he knows you're working with Sam and Dean."

"Nothin' but net, Clarence." Meg toned to the angel. "One for one." Patting the spot next to her on the bed, she beckoned to Castiel. He complied and sat next to the demon, his weight leveling off the bed. It wasn't really until this moment that Meg realized how tall he was. The angel was at least a steady six-foot, and other than his height, Meg recognized the lean muscle that lay beneath the white hospital clothes he had on. Speaking of clothes, she also realized that he had been wearing the same thing since she started watching him. It was then that Meg wanted to something "nice" for once and get Castiel something new to wear.

"I wont let Crowley hurt you, Meg." Castiel said softly, breaking the silence. Meg accepted his minor act of chivalry and placed her head on his shoulder, leaning into him tiredly. "I promise." Said the angel.

XXXXX

"Open your eyes," Meg told him.

Castiel did so and stared at the box sitting in front of him at the table. "What is it?" He asked, his eyes wandering quizzically on the box wrapped in white wrapping paper.

"You'll just have to open it and see."

"I've never been given a gift before..." Castiel said quietly.

Meg raised an eyebrow. "Are you kidding?" She laughed and Castiel's eyes softened as he wondered why she was laughing.

"You've never been given a gift?"

The angel shook his head. "I don't think you can count my wings... those were the only gift I have ever received."

"You're gifted wings in Heaven?" She asked him, taking a seat across the table from him.

"Well yes," He began. "But first you have to earn them."

Meg turned to him and smiled, "Earn them?"

Castiel frowned, "We are warriors of Heaven... and to earn our wings we must prove ourself to our Father." His look made Meg question his current loyalty to his home. He hadn't been there in almost a year... what he did to his brothers when they defied him in all sense of the word was massacre. Even Meg thought it wasn't right. He had his brothers blood spread all over him and he would never come clean.

While they sat in silence, Castiel picked at the paper wrapping his gift.

"Well don't hesitate, Clarence, open it." Meg's voice was slow and sweet.

He did as he was told and peeled the paper back from the box that enclosed whatever was inside. Castiel's eyes grew soft as he beheld the contents of this box. It was a suit and tie. A black suit and blue tie identical to the one that belonged to his vessel so long ago. For someone who had never been given a gift, Castiel was awestruck. He did not have the proper reaction lined up. He thought, at first, that this was a joke. A practical mock on Meg's part. Then when he eyed the suit with more admiration, he realized that it was as simple as this: Castiel was given a gift by someone who admired him enough to consider this act.

"Well," Meg started. "Do you like it?"

The angel looked up at the demon and his sky-blue eyes spoke not only what was unspeakable, but also that of what he was going to say next. "It's the nicest thing anyone has ever given to me, Meg..." Castiel stood, the silk tie cool between his calloused fingers and the smell of newness running through the room. "Thank you."

"Try it on, big boy." She winked at him and he blushed slightly, trying to not convey the message of embarrassment.

He paced to the small bathroom and proceeded to strip himself of the hospital clothes that he had been wearing ever since. He looked at himself in the mirror and for a second, Castiel did not appreciate the being staring back. He was beaten, scarred, and thrown into a life of suffering. How could he, and angel of The Lord, forgive himself for the horrid deeds he had carried out? He had no right nor no idea to ask for forgiveness. His father, though it pained him to say, was useless. Did he ever exist in the first place? Or was it all an elaborate ruse to get him and his siblings whipped into place? It did not matter where they had come from or how they were created so as long as they had _something_ to believe in. However, what force they looked to for so long was now a fading memory in every angels mind.

The pieces of clothing felt heavy on his body unlike the previous but they also felt right. Castiel felt as if putting on this suit would somehow restore him to his former glory. But, he digressed. It was just a gift.

He struggled with the tie as it had been awhile since he had to fixate it. Meg knocked on the door, warning Castiel of her entrance. She stood in the doorway, a smirk tugging at her red lips. The angel turned to her, his face twisted into minor frustration as the tie seemed nigh impossible.

"Here..." Meg spoke softly. She snatched the tie in her small hands and gave Castiel an urgent tug towards her. Their bodies were pressed together, his heat clashing with her cold. Their noses only an inch apart and Meg was able to catch his scent. Something of the earth after a rain or fog in the early morning. The stubble lining his jaw raked the side of her cheek as she tilted her head to kiss him there. When her lips pressed to his skin, he let out a small whimper of protest that he knew was to be shot down. The demon had never been so close to him and now that she had him right where she wanted him, she was going to do her best to drag it out. When her lips were mere centimeters apart, Meg tugged once more on his tie, brining his lips flush against hers.

She could feel Castiel's shoulders relax as he let his breath escape from his nose. He placed his large hands on either side of her face, caressing her cheeks with a fragile touch as thought he thought he might shatter her. The kiss deepened when Meg's hands snaked up his chest, causing the angel to shiver with pleasure. Gently pushing her against the wall of the bathroom, they broke and Meg chuckled as she watched Castiel shuffle backwards nervously to allow her some space.

"I... I don't think we should be doing this." He said quietly.

Meg frowned and crossed her arms. "Why not?"

He gaze locked with her own, the colors of their eyes clashing in the dimness of the room. "Because I am an angel and you are-"

"A demon, I know." Meg said blatantly. "I'm sick of hearing that, you know." She pushed herself off the wall and stood before him. "But wasn't it you who told me that we're free to do anything we want?"

"I do recall saying that."

"So who told you that you can't to this," Meg motioned between them with her hand.

Castiel's goofy smile showed slightly in the bad light. "Nobody."

Meg snapped her finger and pointed to the angel. "Exactly." She snatched the blue tie in her hand one more but this time she was actually going to fix it for him. "You can do anything you want, sweetheart." Meg said, reiterating what Castiel said to her a while back.

Now she was sure.

She was sure that her and this angel would be around for as long as they wanted.

**A/N: Chillin at 3 AM, smoking a cigarette, and listening to Mumford is the best time to write. Castiel and Meg FOREVER! Look out for chapter three soon!**


	3. Splendor

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

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**Ugh my feels are out of control right now.**

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**Chapter 3: Splendor**

Castiel didn't understand why Meg spent so much time in the bathroom. She said it was just the way a woman was. Unlike him, Meg actually enjoyed sleeping, eating, drinking, and downtime. Castiel was completely the opposite. He didn't need to sleep, eat, or drink, and downtime made him anxious. The motel was small and that made him even more anxious. He liked wide open spaces where he could breath his own air and stretch his arms out wider than ever. He just didn't know where to find that. Meg said that there were plenty of places for him to go whenever he felt like flapping away but the angel hated leaving her. Sam and Dean would pray to him, ask him to retrieve something on their behalf and Castiel would follow through only if Meg agreed to go with him. He knew that Crowley was lurking somewhere and even if the angel let her out of his sight for one second, the King of Hell could sweep her up and never give her back.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Meg emerged from the dingy bathroom with some new clothes and makeup on. Instead of her usual leather jacket, worn and purple tank top, black skinny jeans, and her grey boots, Meg was dressed in a black floral AC/DC tank top, dark blue skinny jeans with black boots. Somewhat of a minor change but Castiel still thought she looked beautiful. Her hair was a little damp still from her shower and she wrung it out with a hand towel. Castiel's eyes trailed to the floor because he thought he was staring and his thumbs twiddled in his lap.

_**I slipped away last night...**_

_**Took me away from sight and the place unknown.**_

"What's the matter, Clarence?" Meg toned, tossing the towel back into the bathroom while striding over to him in a most seductive manner, but that's how Meg always walked Castiel thought. She stood in front of his form slouched on the bed and her fingers caught the underside of his chin, lifting his face to look at her own. His sad-looking blue eyes softened when Meg's eyes did almost the same. He had never seen her like this, concerned perhaps. He lush brown eyes stared him down and her fingers tightened on his stubbly chin. Castiel grabbed her wrist softly and pulled her down into his lap. Meg's body rested perfectly against his as if they were two parts of the same piece. She let her arms drape over his neck and he looked up at her, his eyes still soft.

"I'm worried, Meg." He said quietly. "Crowley could take you away at any moment."

"I thought you were my knight in shining armor, here to protect me." Meg responded sarcastically.

The angel shook his head, "Well I am no knight." Meg did not respond to his confession because he was right. He was not a knight in shining armor nor was he a warrior. He _was_ the latter yet long ago. He was young for an angel and even though he had been existing for so long, Meg still knew he had plenty to learn. A warrior, if that is what it should be named, Castiel was not and never was. He was humble, unlike his brothers, unable to see the reason behind bloodshed. Meg, on the other hand, was born and raised in the fight. The demon was much younger than the angel but had battled twice as much. They were almost one and the same for they only had one true thing separating their differences: Where they were created.

_**All crushed upon my skin...**_

_**This mess I put you in and the punch I'd thrown.**_

Angels were products of goodness and righteousness while demons were the product of anger and pain. Castiel's Father made sure that his children were created to love and forgive and Castiel's brother Lucifer made sure that demons were bred to hate and destroy.

Meg leaned into him, feeling his steel arms wrap around her waist and in that moment she knew that this is where she wanted to be. Not fighting off Crowley's goons, not putting her ass on the line for the Winchester's but here, with her angel. Castiel's arms pulled her into him further, hugging her tightly. Her head rested on his shoulder, breathing in his fresh smell. Her legs wrapped around his hips and she had the sudden instinct to hold him as close as she could for she feared she could be ripped away from him. Castiel fell back onto the bed, their limbs still tangled within one another his hands trailed to her stomach, working their way to her soft face when he suddenly stopped. Meg looked down to where his hand rested and her eyes averted to his own however the angels eyes were locked on her torso. He softly lifted the fabric of her top and reveled the mangled scars that traced of her belly just above her naval. The scars he had inflicted on her that day in Carthage. What other choice did he have? He needed a way out. He ran his cold fingers across the scars, his eyes closing for a moment and his face twisting into some sort of pain.

"I would heal them..." He started quietly. "If I could,"

Meg shook her head, "It's in the past..."

Castiel sucked in a breath and cupped her face in his hands, "I didn't mean to hurt you, Meg. I just-"

The demon pressed her finger to his lips and watched him silence himself. "It doesn't matter anymore, Castiel." His full name rolled of her tongue perfectly as if she had speaking it for ages. Meg pressed her lips against his and nestled into his chest, "Things were different back then." She mumbled into him.

She was right. Things _were_ different back then. They were enemies. Now what were they? Certainly not enemies anymore. She was being held onto for dear life by an angel. His vessel was certainly handsome and hers was certainly sexy but it really only mattered about who was on the inside of these meat suits. Beings from two totally different worlds clashing together in a sinful relationship. She lusted after him and he protected her. They were two different sources of light that surged together in one harmonic way that made the earth stand still as it never had before.

_**It was a strange reaction for someone like you to remain on side.**_

_**And in a chain reaction I was down and calling for a place to hide.**_

This world that they resided in would never be smart enough or kind enough to grasp the fact that admiration for someone opposite of you no matter who or what they were was admiration, period. Meg certainly did not _love_ Castiel... she just felt safer around him. His presence lingered when he would depart and still she would feel untouchable. She loved to admit that Crowley was no match for the angel. Although Cas was a little scramble in the head, his immense power never faded. In fact, in it's solidarity, it became stronger. God created angels to love and protect and when Lucifer was banished from that royal kingdom, demons were bred as the holy beings enemy. They could not befriend each other, they could not speak to one another, they could barely breath around the opposite species without some sort of punishment.

It was a sin.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Crowley obviously knew that Castiel held Meg on a pedestal but what the angel didn't know about this creature Crowley certainly did. It was the only thing that the King of Hell had against her at the moment and he was going to use it to its fullest extent. Aside from being an unholy "abomination" of Hell, Meg's history was foggy and hard to understand. Her vessel was true, unlike the first, but what secrets she harbored were all her own.

"Sam is praying." Castiel said flatly, interrupting Meg's thoughts.

The demon curled her fingers into his and held him tightly. "Is it an emergency?"

Castiel paused for a moment. "No."

Meg chuckled, "Then stay."

As if she had mind control over this all-powerful being, Castiel pulled the sheets of the bed over their bodies, the cool fabric was welcoming. It was a little silly seeing that the both of them were fully clothed and in bed but it just meant that the opportunity to remove said clothes in order to get comfy was highly possible. She felt his hands snake up her sides and to the waist of her jeans all the while she's kicking off her boots. Castiel fumbles with her belt until it's whipped somewhere across the room. The demon shimmies out of the pants and crushes her lips against his with bruising force. Meg rips Castiel's trench coat off and shifts herself so she's on top of him, straddling him. The angel looks up and observes this thorny beauty for all she is worth and a smile tugs his lips. Meg runs a hand through his hair and grips it at the scalp, forcing him to look at her while she uses her other to work his belt. Castiel continues to smile, like there's nothing better in the world, the pain in his scalp is nonexistent to the feeling welling up in his chest.

_**I saw a broken arm...**_

_**Machines all break down in the way I know.**_

_**Mended and all made clean, I saw upon the screen all the stones I throw.**_

The demon tugs his pants down to his thighs and she bites her lip at the sight of his chiseled sex lines. Castiel's hands roam up her waist and stop just above her breasts but Meg can sense his urgency. She grabs both of his wrists halting him for just a second, their eyes locking in furious, blurry gazes. She pins his hands above his head and the angel doesn't complain a bit. He watches her work skillfully with one hand pulling his clothes from his heated body until he's in nothing more than his pants. Castiel groans a little when she grinds her hips into his own, causing delightful friction between them. She leans down and bites his lip, drawing blood in the process. He isn't sure if it's him or his vessel but his blood runs hot when Meg clenches her hand around his throat and squeezes until he can't breath. Although Castiel did not require oxygen to live, he still found it pleasant to suck in a breath or two from time to time.

"Meg..." The angel started but she silenced him with another squeeze. Just before she was about to rip the remainder of his clothing off her cell phone rang on the nightstand. Meg sighed and climbed off the angel, picking up the device to see Dean calling.

"They must really need to see you, Clarence..." She said flatly. Castiel sat up, pulling his pants up to his hips again.

"Then I'll go."

He picked his white shirt off the floor and buttoned it slowly, his hands still shaky from moments before. He tucked it in and jumped a little when the phone rang again. Meg strode over to him, fixing his hair from its disheveled state. She flattened his shirt and gazed at him with some sort of admiration in her brown eyes.

The angel looked up the ceiling and back down to her. He placed a kiss on her temple, moving a strand of hair behind her ear. She accepted the sweet gesture and smiled at him. "Go on then. I'll be here when you get back."

He took her words to heart. She would stay here and wait for him. No matter how long it would take or how long he would be gone. She would stay and wait. It was the perfectness in her hues that told Castiel she was telling the truth. She wouldn't run away and leave him without a warning first.

And for now, she didn't plan on leaving any time soon.

_**It was a strange reaction for someone like you to remain so sure.**_

_**And then a chain reaction I dissolve and break and then away I crawl.**_

_**And then away I crawl.**_

**A/N: I told you my feels were out of control. If you're a Supernatural or Megstiel fan and you have a Tumblr, follow me! **

** .com**


	4. There Is Always A Story Behind Us

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

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**I'm thoroughly enjoying this :)**

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**Chapter 4: There Is Always A Story Behind Us**

Castiel landed silently on the creaking wooden floors of Rufus' cabin where the Winchesters resided. He was alone this time, but the way he moved and the way he was underdressed hinted that he was with Meg previously. His trench coat was missing as was the black blazer. Clad only in his black slacks, shoes, white button down, and blue, seemingly backwards tie, Dean looked up from his book and sighed deeply at the angel.

"Finally!" He stated, standing up and stretching. "What took ya so long?"

Castiel shuffled nervously and looked down at the floor. He was trying to convince himself to lie to his friend to lighten the current situation... but he was a bad lier.

"I was in a garden..." Castiel said quietly. "Watching bees pollenate the flowers. It's a very interesting event, Dean." The angel put on a goofy smile. "You would really enjoy it."

Sam gave his brother a look of confusion. In some way, Sam knew Castiel was lying. He had been around Meg for long periods of time and it seemed as if he couldn't go anywhere without her. However, Sam knew from experience that demons were seductive creatures who could hold a grip over your mind. But Castiel could very well go uncontrolled by the demon and simply just enjoy her company instead.

"Well, glad you're hear because we need to talk." Dean stated, pulling a beer from the fridge.

Castiel moved forward, but slowly. He sensed something. Something that told him to step back rather than forward. He watched Dean eye him plainly but there was a glint of mystery there. Sam was slouched in his chair, but Cas noticed that he leaned forward ever-so-slightly with every step the angel took closer to the center of the room. Once he stopped moving, Castiel looked down as his nose picked up a familiar scent. The sound of a striking match made him flinch and it was over before it started. The angel was engulfed in a Holy Ring of Fire, unable to move.

"Dean..." The angel said sadly. "Dean what is this?"

Sam stood and crossed his arms, looking at his brother with disapproval. "I told him he doesn't have to do this."

"I told you, Cas," Dean said while tossing the box of matching onto the table. "We're gonna talk." The Winchester took a swig of his beer. "Is that ok?"

The angel shuffled around in his trap. "Of course but..." He eyed the lethal ring. "Why do you have to keep me in this?"

The older Winchester pulled up a chair. "Because we're gonna talk about Meg and you're not gonna try to avoid us by flapping away. Got it?"

"There is nothing to talk about, Dean."

Dean sighed and pointed the neck of his bottle at the angel. "Liar."

Castiel took at deep, angry breath. "Dean, I'm very busy and I don't have time to be interrogated about my "relationship" with Meg." The angel threw heavy air-quotes around the word 'relationship'.

"Oh, so it's a relationship?" Dean inquired, mocking Castiel's air-quotes.

The angel looked around the room nervously, his eyes softening. "No... I-" Castiel couldn't seem to find the words to speak to his friend. Dean, however, was right before. Meg was a demon and Castiel was an angel. This was a sin on steroids and if the angel still belonged to Heaven, he would more than likely be sentenced to death for his actions.

"Cas we know you're free to do your own thing but..." Dean hesitated. "We're worried about the consequences." The angel's friend took another long swig of his beer, knowing that this was going to be a long night.

"Dean... you don't understand." Castiel stated sadly.

"Ok. Well then make me understand."

Sam backed off the wall and walked towards the ring. "Cas, if anyone knows what you're going through well enough, it's me." The younger man sighed. "Look, I understand. Ruby had me... she did, but we know you have the will power to... to uh..." Sam glanced at his brother.

"Drop her like a bad habit." Dean deadpanned.

The angel slouched in sadness and he looked about the room, trying to avoid the gaze of the brothers. "I told you... You don't understand... Meg," The angel started. "Meg was there for me when you couldn't be. I know that you're running about trying to save the world but you left me..." Castiel bore his pure blue eyes into Dean, trying to search for some kind of sympathy that he knew the man carried in the black hole of his heart.

"Ok, well when you say it like that we sound like a couple of bad parents." Dean inquired. "But just tell me one thing?"

Castiel nodded.

"You two aren't..." Dean awkwardly thrust his hips in the air, smacking an imaginary ass. "You know..."

The angel look at Dean with confusion and his jaw clenched as he tried to put his finger on what the he was speaking of.

"I don't-" Castiel paused.

"Sex, Cas! You two aren't having sex are you?"

"No..." He stammered. "No I wouldn't even know how to go about that."

Dean chugged the remainder of his beer, wiping the corner of his mouth. "Good." He grabbed a fire extinguisher and emptied it onto the roaring fire that held the angel at bay. "You're free to go... By the way," Dean started. "Where're your clothes?"

Castiel flattened his tie and looked up the ceiling, feeling his Grace crackle with very thought of going back to Meg. "At the garden." And with that, he was gone.

Castiel was a bad lier.

XXXXX

The angel landed quietly back in the motel room. The curtains were drawn and the gloom of the day shroud it in the feeling of utter tiredness. With much stillness, he approached the bed, trying his best not to disturb the one he shared it with. He undid his tie and tossed it on the floor and the shirt followed suit. He scratched the faded sigil on his chest, kicking off his shoes and socks. Castiel lifted the comforter and slid beneath it, welcoming its warmth. Meg's body heat, little that there was, radiated onto him and he could hear her heartbeat in his ear. Rhythmic and it nearly lulled him to sleep. She turned around in the sheets, opening her brown eyes to him, groggy and heavy, she held his face in her hands and kissed him silently on the lips. Castiel closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of her softness.

"Try to sleep." She asked of him, snuggling her head into the crook of his bare neck. Her fingers were lightly tracing the scars of the Enochian symbols that raggedly adorned his chest.

"I can't."

"Can't or won't?" Meg mumbled into him.

She was right. Sometimes, he would lie awake at night and wonder why he was cursed. Or so he thought he was. Being resurrected when the only thing he wished for was death... if his father really was watching over him then he had some sick sense of humor. Did he not know that sometimes, Castiel would try and kill himself and give up because a voice in his head asks him not to? He tried hard to sleep at night but the voices of Heaven in his ears were too much. He would ask them to stop, ask them to allow him sleep. But they would not relent. And sometimes, he did not sleep because he feared that one morning, he would wake and find her gone. They were in this together... or so he thought. The angel knew that the demon was conniving in her own way but it seemed to him that she enjoyed his company and had no intention of leaving.

Castiel was eternally grateful to Meg. He practically owed her his life and if it just so happened to come to that, the angel would gladly give his last breath so she could breathe another. Everyday, he could clearly remember the days they spent in the hospital, in the garden, his favorite spot.

_Castiel quietly plucked flowers from the ground and held them up to his nose, accepting their perfume-like scents. Meg followed further behind him, her eyes glued to some gossip magazine. He stride was lazy and unkempt as she did not look where she was going. She chuckled to herself at the public humiliation of celebrities she had seen rise and fall. Suddenly, she slammed right into Castiel as he had stopped walking._

_"Jesus, Clarence..." Meg growled, picking up her magazine from the ground._

_The angel bent down into the garden she did not know they turned into. There was a path flanked by tall hedges and at the very end was a gazebo with a few benches. There were other patients wandering the garden with their nurses, picking flowers and walking with their hands nervously in their pockets. She watched the angel stride along, his face looking towards the sky as though he thought his brethren would drop from it in a fury of light and storms, sweep him up, and take him home for some kind of punishment._

_He bent down and plucked a daisy from the patch and turned to face Meg. He sheepishly handed it to her and the demon smiled. "Why thank you, Clarence." She accepted the gift and folded the magazine under her arm, twirling the fragile plant in between her fingers. They walked alongside each other, his arms swinging lazily by his side when his fingers brushed her own and he curled her fingers into his. He looked down at her and she smiled up at him, squinting in the sun. Her red lipstick shone perfectly and her hair caught the rays of light, shimmering softly._

_She pulled him into the grass to sit and enjoy the weather that the angel wouldn't be able to enjoy for far too long. His tall frame seated next to her small one. Castiel looked up into the blue hue above him and watched another patient fly a kite in the breeze. A small smile traced his lips as it reminded him of his favorite corner of Heaven. The kite fluttered in the wind and his blue eyes watched it with undivided attention. It reminded him of simpler times... more so of home. A home that he missed dreadfully with all his heart. It was corrupt, yes, but it was also the most beautiful place he had ever beheld. There was certainly nowhere else like it and that made Castiel feel special. He was nothing more than a solider to his father but he had broken free of that and had become something that he never thought possible: Free._

_Meg watched him gaze at the simple kite with such admiration and she knew he was thinking of home._

_"You could go back you know... I know you would like that."_

_Castiel looked down at her and his eyes turned fearful. "No I... I couldn't possibly be accepted back. I killed..." She watched his movements flicker like an irritated cat, he was clammy at the very thought of what he had done. He had gotten ahead of himself when he took in the souls from Purgatory... he hadn't measured the dangers that were tacked on. It was a mistake that he wished he could take back because now he was useless. He was no help to the Winchesters or himself, such a waste of power._

_But after that was said and done, Castiel realized that playing God was not for him. It was for his father only. What, if anything, did he think of his son? Did Castiel disgust him and that is why he was burdened with this madness? Or was his father proud and that is he why he resurrected him from the lake? Someone of a higher power must have had faith in poor Castiel otherwise he would have been dead long ago._

_Meg touched her hand to his arm, his skin prickling to her very touch. "Come on..." She asked softly. "Lets get you back inside."_

_The angel complied and stood to his full height. He took one last look to the blue sky he wouldn't see for quite a long time._

XXXXX

It wasn't until Castiel could feel his eyes beginning to hold heavy did he realize that he was fallen. He was susceptible to dreadful feelings such as exhaustion, hunger, and guilt. Even when he was full of Grace, the angel was hard on himself. Unable to be like his brothers and sisters, Castiel was practically the runt of the litter even when angels were to be created equal. Others were stronger than him, beating him into his place. Up until now, he only understood the fact that he was weak compared to his siblings. After his death, resurrection, and newfound persona, Castiel began to believe that his father had it out for him. He believed in his son and _that_ is why the angel could never die.

Because God wouldn't allow it.

**A/N: I really, REALLY love writing this. Even if it conflicts with my real life and my ****responsibilities... fuck em! Haha no really though my own writing has punched me right in those Megstiel feels. **


	5. I Could Use Some Friends For A Change

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

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**Well Season g8 is over and I think that they cured Crowley which is cool but Heaven now belongs to Metatron which sucks a big bag of dicks because Metatron is a dick!**

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**Chapter 5: I Could Use Some Friends For A Change**

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Castiel watched the sun rise that morning. He found that even though his eyes were heavy and his body ached, he could not sleep. Meg, however, enjoyed that pastime. It was about six-thirty in the morning. He complied to Meg when she asked him to lie with her until he fell asleep but alas, he could not. So the angel continued to snuggle with her... appreciating the little warmth that radiated from her. It was hard for him to close his eyes and keep them that way. The Castiel would squeeze them shut, hoping that a tiredness like no other would befall him but it never did.

Meg stirred beneath the covers of the bed they shard and grumbled something that he could not decipher. He looked down at her, the deep brown hair snaking about the pillow in every which way. The pale skin that her meatsuit bore prickled with goosebumps when his breath inched across it. The t-shirt she wore just barely covered her hips that raised the skin only a little and her pink boy-shorts shown under that. She was curled up, her knees to her chest and one arm tucked under the pillow while the other rested in front of her.

Castiel wondered if she was actually asleep or if she was just closing her eyes so he didn't bother her. The angel sat up against the headboard, the blankets covering his legs. His dress shirt was ruffled and the blue, seemingly always backwards tie, hung loose about the collar. His arms were rested on either side of him and his head lolled back occasionally, looking up at the tiled ceiling. His icy eyes wandered over the creature sleeping next to him. She was certainly beautiful... there was no doubt about that. He almost laughed to himself when he thought about him and her. If anything, this was the worst sin he could ever commit. He felt swelling admiration for this demon and he just couldn't explain it. The Winchesters, however, didn't take too lightly on putting their trust in her. To them, she was still the same demon that killed their father. The same demon that possessed Sam and Bobby. The same demon who killed Ellen and Jo. Maybe it was the way she changed did Castiel see the sweetness in her. Those months at the hospital were all but memories however, the angel shall not soon forget who was there for him.

Sam and Dean were like family to him and they thought that Meg was just a stake being driven between them. Actually, it was easier for Sam to handle than Dean. There was just something deep in the older brother's heart that hurt it where it mattered. Dean was saved because of the renegade angel. He owed his _life_ to Castiel. Maybe, just maybe it was that. But then, Castiel thought, Sam was saved by him as well... The younger of the Winchesters was even harder to rescue. The blue-eyed angel had to fight Michael and Lucifer off tooth and claw just to grip Sam tight and raise him from his prison. It was not a pleasant experience. His brothers hissed and snapped like the animals he knew they were. They torched his skin and raised his bones. Castiel probably wouldn't have lasted long enough if it weren't for the heart he put into his rescue. He _needed_ Sam to come back. He _needed_ to see Dean happy again. It killed him to watch the Winchester suffer. He was family. The scars that rested underneath his skin itched as he thought of his caged brothers. He didn't tell anyone, or rather want anyone to know that they had harmed him in ways he could not heal. His wounds would forever lie beneath his shimmering facade.

"I don't know what to do anymore..." Castiel mumbled to himself, hoping that she didn't hear.

XXXXX

"Dean don't call him again." Sam chided his brother. "You know Crowley'll just lie."

The older Winchester paced menacingly about the room, slurping down his beer like it was his job. "Well then what are we supposed to do, Sammy? Sit here like a bunch of idiots and wait for Dick to come to us?"

Sam's jaw clenched in defeat. "We'll figure it out... we always do."

Dean shook his head and slumped his shoulders. "I'm tired of all this last minute crap, Sam. I just want this to be over."

"And it will be over as soon as we think of a plan. Look, Dean I want this to be over as much as you do but until we get Crowley on our side we can't make our move."

"I bet Cas knows where that scumbag is hiding but he's as useless as stick right now."

Sam snapped his laptop shut, "I doesn't hurt to try."

Dean sighed and looked towards the ceiling, closing his eyes he began his petty prayer. "Almighty Castiel," He began sarcastically. "We need your help... so if you could, ah... I don't know, flutter your ass here quickly?" The older brother paused for a moment and opened one eye. "Please?"

There was nothing for a moment, no flickering lights, no blowing wind, or shaking glass. Just silence.

"Maybe he's busy?" Sam inquired hopefully.

"Busy with what? Friggin' bees?" Dean said sourly. "That guy needs to get his head straight soon or else he's gonna be totally useless when we need him the most."

"I'm trying my hardest, Dean." The angel appeared without any noise, no wings. The look on his face was the saddest Dean had seen in a while. He was offended.

"Cas I didn't know you'd be-"

He shook his head, "It doesn't matter... what can I do for you?"

"We need your help, Crowley reimbursed us with some of his blood now all's we need is yours." Dean said.

The angel smiled a little and pulled a small vile from his pants pocket. He gripped it tightly in his hand and it filled with his crimson fluid. "You know me," Castiel sighed lightly with a smile. "Always willing to bleed for the Winchesters." He handed Dean the vile.

Dean gave him a look of saddened confusion, "What are you gonna do, Cas?"

He smiled. "Well... I don't know. Isn't that amazing?" And before the older Winchester could blink, Castiel was gone in a flutter of wings.

XXXXX

"We have to fight, Cas." Meg toned, crossing her arms and eying the angel skeptically.

Castiel looked to the ground and shook his head. "I don't fight anymore."

"Well what's gonna get you to kick some ass?" She shouted. Meg was frustrated with him. She knew she shouldn't be but she was. Castiel was useless and Meg wanted to make him useful. There was a spark within him, deep down maybe, but it was there waiting to be ignited into the so called 'killing machine' he used to be. _That's_ what the Winchesters needed to beat Dick. One _seriously_ dangerous angel.

"I couldn't possibly hurt anyone anymore..." He said softly.

Meg sighed and sunk down next to him on the bed. She grabbed his chin roughly but Cas knew it wasn't hostile. "For God's Sake, Clarence, there's gotta be _something_ in that heart of yours that wants to get rid of all the bad." She let his chin go, his stubble scraping her fingertips.

"This heart doesn't belong to me." Castiel said sadly.

"Jimmy's dead, feathers." Meg deadpanned. She poked him hard in the chest, right to his heart as if she thought she could drive a knife right through his new softness. "This is all your own, sugar."

His torrential blue eyes bore deeply into her brown, searching for something that he might not find. No matter how much he wanted to deny it, she was right. Jimmy Novak was dead. It hurt him to know that he dragged that poor man to every corner of the earth but he prayed for it. He sacrificed everything he had to allow the mighty angel a vessel. A _true_ vessel. As for the bad... it honestly _was_ Cas' fault the Leviathan were running rampant, swallowing everything in their path. Therefore it should be his responsibility to clean up. But... the angel digressed, he was useless. His mind was worn from mental torture, his body was frail from anxiety, depression, and insomnia. Scars lay themselves over his flesh like another layer of skin. They were his reminders of the past. Something that he never wanted to forget. They reminded him of simpler times yet difficult ones. They were something that Castiel could never replace because he would never replace them for anything.

Meg dug the angel from his thoughts when she placed her small hands on either side of his face and scraped her thumbs alongside his strong, unshaven jaws. She leaned in, their lips mere centimeters apart, she could feel his quivering breath on her cheeks. With a slight crank of her head, the demon placed a kiss next to his ear and whispered, "You know what to do. Now go do it."

As if Castiel was brainwashed by his thorny beauty, he nodded. He stood up, Meg admiring his full height. Drinking him in as if he was the perfection of the earth. Her heart fluttered slightly when he looked up to the ceiling, swallowing the lump in his throat. The demon could smell his holy blood running through coursed veins and it made her heart skip even more. Meg wasn't even finished with her blink before her angel was gone in a toss of wings and a cool breeze.

He had to ask for help from the only being he knew _would_ help.

**A/N: Where is Castiel off to and who will he ask for assistance? Find out in the next installment of Hopeless Wanderer!**


	6. Somniis

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural:**

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**This chapter is called Somniis. Somniis means Dreams in Latin. Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 6: Somniis**

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There was a harsh wind that blew Castiel's trench coat about. His tie twisted in every which way, catching the breeze. He could hear waves of the ocean crashing alongside the rocks, deep gray clouds rolled in from every corner of the earth, it seemed, to beckon storms. The grass he stood upon was damp with dew of the early morning and the light sprinkle of the oncoming rain was pelting his face gently. The angels blue eyes look out towards the water, chopping whitecaps and swirling torrents made his head turn and stomach stir.

He was waiting.

Castiel summoned his ally not ten minutes ago... he was late.

He wondered if it was the weather imposing on his travel however, that was somehow slightly ridiculous seeing as though his friend was that of an astral being. The cold that surrounded him was starting to get under his skin. For some reason, he could feel it stir in his blood. The trees that kept some of the wind at bay creaked angrily from the brute force of nature. There were also animals. They huddled under thick branches, waiting out the storm. The angel's brow knitted in frustration as the time between his summoning grew longer.

He wasn't coming.

Castiel sighed and looked towards the sky, perhaps wishing that his friend would descend from the sky and greet him with the information he desired... however, it had been quite some time and the angel thought it tedious to wait any longer. So he tightened his tie back to his collar and left the cliff with heavy, wet wings.

XXXXX

"He didn't appear." Castiel said softly. Meg jumped and threw her magazine down on the table.

"Jesus, Clarence... we've talked about this." She turned to face him and gave him a sour look.

"What do I do now, Meg?" The angel brooded with those soft blue eyes of his. His shoulders slouched, completely unhappy with recent events and Meg could see it in those eyes.

The demon shrugged. "I'm not your advisor, Cas... I don't always know what to do next."

Castiel shifted uncomfortably when she stood to face him. His eyes looked down almost shamefully at the brown carpeted floor. "He is my brother, Meg... I would think that he would spare me at least a few minutes."

"Well maybe he's not really out there like you thought, hot stuff."

"But he came to me in that dream."

Meg sighed and snatched his tie in her small hands, proceeding to fix it for him yet again. "Just because you saw him creep on you in your dreams doesn't mean he's still alive. It's just a dream, Clarence."

"But Balth-" Meg cut him off by pressing a finger to his lips.

"He's dead." She stated plainly. She really did not want to remind him that it was his fault. "You killed him, Clarence... remember?"

The angel frowned and his blue hues wetted only slightly. She thought he might cry and what a sight it would be. A weeping angel. Meg stared him down and his jaw tightened.

"I... I killed him." Castiel muttered, as if he was trying to remind himself of that day. Balthazar loved him. Castiel looked up to his older brother with utmost respect. He was one of his only siblings that appreciated what he was trying to do when he saved Dean. He prided Castiel in his bravery and his heart. A heart that the most of the angels no longer had. They fought together... and the younger brother destroyed their relationship with a stab to the heart.

Meg placed a hand on his shoulder and sighed, "It's in the past." She said carefully. "There's nothing you can do. _I_ was wrong, I thought that there was another out there... willing to help."

"My brothers no longer care, Meg." Castiel tightened his fists, knuckles turning white. He gritted his teeth and a vein popped in his forehead. He was so frustrated and felt as though he could level an entire town to relieve his anger. "They just don't care!" He shot up from sitting on the bed and strode heavily about the room. "I want to know _why_!" The angel shouted. His fist flew harshly into the nearest wall, making Meg jump. She stood up and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around. His fist was still raised and he bore his fiery eyes into her own.

"Castiel!" The demon shouted. "You better calm down right now or so help me..."

The angel's raised fist unclenched slowly, his eyes softening. His hand dropped to his side and he exhaled deeply. "I'm sorry, Meg..."

She placed her hands on either side of his face and raked her thumbs across his jaw. "I didn't know you could get so fired up like that, Clarence." She remarked with a smirk, eyes looking him up and down and in all the right places. "Gets me all hot 'n bothered." She dug her nails into the sides of his jaw.

"Why would you be bothered?" He questioned through a wince.

Meg rolled her eyes and let him go. "Never mind you big dummy."

XXXXX

Later that night, Meg was asleep next to Castiel, curled up in her usual position. Again, he avoided sleep. Mostly because he feared he would see Balthazar again but also because closing his eyes and lowering his defenses frightened him. He needed to protect himself from other angels but most of all Crowley. However, the King of Hell seemed lenient on his capture at the moment, Castiel knew it wouldn't last much longer. He needed to get away from here, he needed to get Meg away from here. The only concern he had was her. He promised to never let a single soul hurt her. His acts of chivalry had no affect on her it seemed. She constantly rolled her eyes, sighed, and crossed her arms. She would rant about how 'she could protect herself.' and 'she didn't need an angel on her shoulder.' But that made only Castiel more determined. His calloused fingers lightly traced down her arm, making the demon stir. Her eyes fluttered open but then turned to disdain as she realized he woke her up for no apparent reason.

"Why?" She asked groggily, turning her back to him.

"I'm sorry." The angel said softly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Sure you didn't, Clarence." Meg tugged at the blankets that were stuck under Castiel's legs. "Let em go, hot wings," Meg grumbled.

He complied with her request and she hogged every last inch of the think comforter. "Goodnight, Meg." Castiel spoke quietly in the dark.

"Goodnight, feathers."

The angel sat in the darkness of the room with all of his rampant thoughts. He wanted to fly away somewhere, get some air. But he wouldn't leave her here, vulnerable in her state of sleep. He closed his blue eyes, attempting to get a few relaxing hours in before they had to leave in the morning. There was no noise other than the faint sound of the ceiling fan. No cars, no planes, no one speaking. With his eyes closed, he tried to focus on Meg's heartbeat and picked it up pumping slowly and soundly. There was an odd feeling that welled up inside of him when he heart that rhythmic tune as if it was mortal instrument of the life that was not hers to bear. It seemed as if Meg knew measures about Castiel and he knew nothing of her. Where she came from, how old she was, why she rebelled... Like him, she must have had a damed good reason. He assumed it had to do with Crowley and the caging of Lucifer whom she seemed to follow with blind devotion. When they first met, she mocked him, made fun of who where he hailed from.

_"You seemed pleased." The angel stated simply._

_Meg circled him, eyeing the ring of fire. "We're gonna win..." She said with a smile. "Can you feel it?"_

_Castiel moved his eyes away from her and that dirty smirk._

_"You cloud-hopping pansies lost the whole damned universe." Meg spoke in an almost scolding tone. "Lucifer's gonna take over heaven. We're going to heaven, Clarence!" She gave him a mocking laugh and shook her head._

_Castiel only smirked at this, at her smugness. His fingers precariously twisting away at the bolt. "Strange," He began boldly. "Because I heard a different theory from a demon named Crowley."_

_Meg's face hardened. "You don't know Crowley."_

_"He believes Lucifer is just using demons to achieve an end." The angel's fingers twisted once again, dropping a bolt from the fixture. "And then once he does, he'll destroy you all." Castiel's smug grin made Meg back off against the wall and approach him with a grave look._

_"You're wrong." She stated uncertainly. "Lucifer is the Father of our race. Our creator." She took another step towards the angel trapped in holy fire. "Your god may be a deadbeat but mine... mine walks the earth"_

_With one last warp of his fingers, the last bolt was undone. The pipe crashed down, slamming into Meg's small form, sending her straight into the ring of fire. Castiel's arms caught her steady and his only instinct was to smite the demon before him. He palmed his hand to her forehead and with all of his might, tried to channel his strength into a wicked affliction of her blackened soul._

_There was nothing. No crackle of his Grace, no power of light transferring to from his hand to her. The frustration rose as he tried harder, which only made the demon begin to chuckle in a self-satisfied tone. Castiel dropped his hand and looked down at her shit-eating grin. His blue eyes glaring holes right through her._

_"You can't gank demons can you? You're cut off from the home office and you ain't got the juice." The two beings were mere inches apart, Castiel's heat radiating onto her as if the fire surrounding them did not exist. His body trembled slightly. Powerless was not a word the angel took too lightly. He was standing before a being who could probably shred him to pieces and all because he couldn't find the power to kill her._

_Her breath was hot on his neck and she smiled up at him wickedly. "So what_ can_ you do you impudent sap?"_

_Castiel sucked in a breath, holding her as tight as his muscles would allow. "I can do this..." He lowered his face, the angel too close to her for comfort. There a split second where Castiel though she might close the distance between them and the very thought of it disgusted him. He spun her halfway, shoving her small form into the fire with little force. Her piercing screams radiated throughout the room, flames licking her abdomen. Castiel stepped on her back, crushing her with his boot. He fled, his ears flooded with the sounds of her screams and profanities._

He had recently apologized for that. He never meant to hurt her, she was just in his way and he needed to stop his brother. It was done and over with, she, surprisingly, forgave him. It was in the past she said.

Castiel's body had finally relaxed, his muscles working out all of the soreness in them. He was ready for a change, sleep most of all, but change nonetheless. He wanted to be free of all this. Crowley, leviathan, heaven... it was all too much to bear. The angel moved around a bit, trying his best to find a comfortable spot on the bed. He rested his head on the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut as if sleep would overcome him at any second. He shifted again, the bed creaking loudly.

"Seriously, Cas?" Meg said sleepily. She turned around to see him struggling. Her hair tossed about, eyes half-lidded. "First of all," She grabbed his tie, undoing it with weak hands. "take your fucking clothes off you psycho." She undid every button on his shirt with her small fingers. he shrugged it off and she smiled. "Getting there, hotstuff." Meg grabbed his belt, tugging at it forcefully. "Off." She commanded. The angel complied, afraid that she might do it herself if he didn't. He strung away his belt, pushing his pants down until he was clad in his black boxer briefs. The demon smiled lazily, "Much better." She pressed a hand to his chest, gently shoving him down to his back. "Now go to sleep, Cas." She kept her hand there, the coolness of her skin flustering through his chest. Castiel smiled in the dark, a little tug at the lips and he settled into the sheets, sleep seemed possible now.

_"Castiel?" The voice asked him._

_"Balthazar?" He asked._

_The older brother emerged from a thick fog, the bloodstain on his grey shirt showing vibrantly though the lack of color everywhere else. "Good," He started. "You fell asleep again." He placed a hand on his little brothers shoulder and gave him a comforting squeeze. "You need to do that more often."_

_Castiel smiled lightly, "Yes well, it does feel good to be refreshed in the morning."_

_Balthazar's look turned hard and his eyes turned to stone, "You need to heed my warning now, Cas. This time you have to listen to me. Do as I say. Do you understand?"_

_Castiel nodded but he hesitated for a moment. "But I don't understand... are you alive or not?"_

_"I am." Balthazar looked at his brother thoughtfully. "You could never be a killer, brother, you don't go at it very clean. But right now that doesn't matter. I'll come to you when you need me but right now, I need you."_

_Castiel lowered his eyes, "I am sorry, Balthazar."_

_The elder angel shook his head. "It no longer matters, Cas. Just listen to me now wont you? You have to be careful of her."_

_The younger brother gave his brother a confused look. "Who?"_

_"Lamia."_

_Cas shook his head and his coat billowed in the wind that seemed to start as soon as Balthazar spoke of this name. "I don't know who you're talking about."_

_"The demon girl." His brother responded._

_"Her name is Meg." Castiel said firmly._

_Balthazar waved his hand absently at his brother. "Yes whatever, anyways you need to get rid of her."_

_"Why, what are you talking about?"_

_"Castiel, you do not realize the gravity of your situation. She has been lying to you! Can you not see that?"_

_"Who is Lamia?" Castiel demanded, taking a menacing step towards his brother._

_"Your girlfriend is a very dangerous demon, Cas."_

_Cas shuffled his feet, looking down at the ground as if he was embarrassed. "She's not my girl-" He halted his retort and clenched his fists. "Balthazar, tell me what I'm dealing with and I'll deal with it as I feel suit."_

_The older brother sighed deeply. "Lamia..." He began. "Is a very powerful demon. She was... is a demon of old power. This means she is potentially stronger than Lucifer himself, however not older."_

_"What does this have to do with me?"_

_"You girlfriend has no clue that power exists in her. She has no recollection of what it can do."_

_"That's a good thing, is it not?"_

_"Yes and no. Things are not always what they seem, Castiel. That is my first warning and I ask you to consider all things I say to you, brother. I am only trying to protect you... and her."_

_"Speak plain." Castiel demanded. "Why would you want to protect her?"_

_"I see you two. I watch over you, Cas. That's my job, I told father that I would look after you and I do not seek to break my promises." Balthazar grabbed Castiel by both shoulders. "I love you, Cas. Know this. I don't want to see you get hurt anymore, you don't deserve it."_

_"Then tell me what I have to do."_

_Balthazar nodded. "Keep her away from that crossroads piece of filth."_

_"Crowley?"_

_"Yeah whatever his name is. Do you understand?"_

_"Yes."_

_"You need not to tell her of this dream if you so desire but know this," He began to walk back towards the fog. "If you do tell her, she has no reason not to kill you and your Winchesters." Balthazar's figure disappeared into the thickness of fog. "With that kind of power, who wouldn't?" His voice echoed through the emptiness of wherever they were, lingering with the wind._

Castiel shot up in bed, sweat beading down his forehead, his chest heaved heavily. He looked down at Meg who was sleeping soundly still. For some reason, he wanted what Balthazar told him to be false, that his brother was just a figment of his over active imagination. His head believing in something that his heart desired. He watched her chest rise and fall steadily, lips parted softly.

A supposed killer never looked so content.

"Lamia..." Cas spoke softly in the dark.

He could not bring himself to close his eyes again so he simply sat awake, listening to Meg's heartbeat, his only comforting thought of the life that resided there.

**A/N: PLOT TWIST! Haha just kidding. Not really a twist but just a simple "back story" seeing as Meg doesn't really have one. Read and review! It helps me out a lot! Stay tuned for chapter 7!**


	7. Lamia

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

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**I'd just like to thank everyone for reading and reviewing! It really does keep me going!**

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**Chapter 7: Lamia**

During the car ride, Castiel was awfully silent. Meg thought it strange. He had not spoken a word to her since they left the motel earlier this morning. The sun was still rising over the hills and a light fog had rolled in. The angel sat stiffly, looking out the passenger window with that distant, thousand yard stare. There was some song streaming through the radio that Meg had long since tuned out but she was occasionally picking through the lyrics.

"Are you just gonna sit there like a big oaf or are we going to have a nice, civilized conversation?" Meg drawled. She shook her head when he didn't respond. "Whatever."

The road ahead of them was long. They were headed to the cabin to see the boys, lay out some plans, and kick some Roman ass. The stretch of road would last for another dozen or so miles and she was cooped up in the car with her unresponsive angel.

"Seriously, Cas." Meg started, looking at him. "What's the matter?"

The angel sighed and shifted in his seat. He looked uncomfortable, like he was feeling the awkwardness that drifted throughout the car. He had to admit that he had never felt this around her before nor she to him. This was a new feeling and one that he did not favor.

"I was visited last night... by Balthazar."

Meg rose a brown eyebrow. "Oh yeah?" She perked with interest.

Castiel nodded and looked to her with his tired and drooping blue eyes. "Yes." He looked down at his feet as if he was ashamed to tell the rest. "He told me something that I am curious to know if it's true or not."

Meg's eyes were now focused on the road as she listened to Castiel speak.

"He said that I had to be careful." The angel shrugged dumbly, a goofy smile wiping across his face. "At first I thought he was joking." Cas chuckled. "He was always sort of funny. In fact, there was once a time where-"

"Cas." Meg barked. "You're getting off track again, hon."

Castiel frowned and realized this. "Oh yes... What was I saying before?"

Meg shook her head. This was normal, however it hadn't happened in a while. Castiel would lose sight of what he was trying to say or do at times. It would confuse him and thus frustrate him. The angel now opposed to conflict would literally fly away from his problems rather than face them. That was one of the problems Meg had been working on with him. He needed to face his faults and seemingly, the only way to do that was to take down that which caused his pain.

"Balthazar came to you last night and he warned you." Meg reminded him.

"Right!" The angel perked up. "Yes, Balthazar told me to be careful..." He paused, all seriousness stoning into him.

Meg snapped her finger at him urgently. "Be careful of what, Clarence?"

"You." He looked to her with those tired eyes.

Meg scoffed which turned into full out bursts of laughter. "Are you fucking kidding?" She asked, hilariously dumbfounded. "_Me?_"

Castiel only nodded. Meg noted that blank look on his face, eyes cold again. He wasn't kidding. Her laughter seized, and she looked him over.

"Why?" She asked.

The angel turned his head to face her, eyes gazing at her with concern. Those eyes then became soft, like a melting ocean. Those fucking eyes flooded guilt into Meg even if there was nothing to be guilty of. They made her feel weak in the knees and somehow, the emotion that welled up inside those two swirling orbs made her heart stop for seconds on end.

"Lamia." He said quietly.

Meg slammed on the brakes with two feet. Her hands gripped the steering wheel so hard, it cracked under the sheer force. Her eyes flicked black and Castiel could have sworn he saw the blood rise to her cheeks.

"_Get out._" She demanded, teeth clenched together. She seethed that demand like a vicious snake and with the venom to bear. "Get out right fucking now."

Castiel reached to touch her wrist, a comforting gesture that she would have accepted regularly. But Meg ripped it from his reach and buried it into the side of her jacket.

"Don't make me tell you again, Castiel. Get out of the _fucking_ car or I'll kill you."

The angel was taken back harshly by this. She had never, _ever_ threatened to kill him. She threatened him with many things and he found it almost cute. She would tell him that she would rip out his feathers, choke him with his tie, or claw the grin off his face. Never had she threatened to kill him.

"Meg I-"

He was cut off when she her hung her head and shook it lazily. "Please..."

The angel complied with her request and slid out of the vehicle. He watched as she put the car back into drive and sped down the road without a second glance.

Castiel was all alone. Again.

And worst of all... he was lost.

XXXXX

Meg arrived a few hours later at the cabin, Castiel not in tow. Her rage had settled but only a little. How in the hell did that dead angel know of her? That part of her past was something she wished she could wipe completely clean. It was a part of her that she could never bear to relive.

There were so many flaws... so many lies.

It pained her to drop his sorry ass on that road. Alone. Meg knew as well as anyone else, Castiel hated being alone. It wasn't entirely that he hated it, rather that he was _scared_. Somewhere along the way, he had lost his sense of who and where he was. He had lost all ability to function, he was hopeless and it was just his luck that Meg knew where he wanted to be.

She shut off the car and slammed the door. She was still steaming when she pounded on the door relentlessly. Sam answered cautiously and his guard settled when he realized who it was. She pushed past him without an answer to his greeting. She stormed right to the fridge and cracked open the last beer.

"Hello to you too, Meg." Dean stated outwardly. He then noticed that Castiel was nowhere near her. "Where's Cas?" He asked, getting up out of his chair to tower over the demon.

"I don't know." She sneered.

"What?" Sam said, backing off the wall. "What do you mean you don't know?"

"He pissed me off so I kicked him out of the car."

Dean looked to Sam. It was so simple yet so hard to understand. Yeah, Cas was a little strange but he defiantly didn't aim to piss people off, especially Meg.

"He pissed you off?" Dean repeated.

Meg nodded, taking another long swig of her beer. "Yep."

"Well what the hell did he do?" Sam asked bewildered.

The demon rolled her eyes. "None of your business."

Dean was taken back and his brows furrowed. "None our business?"

"That's what I said. What are you? Deaf?"

Sam stepped in between the two and huffed, "Ok, knock it off you guys." He looked to Meg. "Where did you drop him off at?"

"Somewhere down the road. About an hour back."

Sam shook his head. "You do realize that he's probably still standing there, confused."

"Yeah and he's probably crying like a friggin' baby cause you left him alone."

"Cas doesn't cry." Meg deadpanned.

Dean turned his back on the demon and grabbed the keys to the Impala. "Alright well Sam's probably right. I'm gonna go see if I can't find the damned angel."

XXXXX

She left him.

Castiel was alone, on the side of the road. The heat of the day was beginning to get to him. It was irritating. She was so angry with him... he felt like a kicked puppy. He wondered why the mention of that name offended her so much.

It was a subject that Cas couldn't touch on because he knew nothing of it.

"Lamia..." The angel spoke lowly. He looked up in the cloudless, blue sky. He squinted a little, the sun invading his eyes. "Balthazar." He asked to the wind. "What does this all mean?"

The wind kicked up, dust billowing in every which way. Emerald leaves sailed down from nearby trees, shaking them off like dead skin. He wondered if it was his brother, conjuring a little nature to get him going or if it was just coincidence.

"I can't do this without her." Castiel told himself. There was a strange feeling in his gut. One that he had only felt once before.

It was that feeling of sheer abandonment. He remembered feeling exactly like this when he discovered that his Father was nowhere to be found. When he dropped his children like orphans, leaving them to fend for themselves in a world that would more than likely eat them alive. Castiel's heart, or should he say Jimmy's heart, lurched in his chest. It twisted into a knot as did his stomach. He felt as though he needed to throw up, purge himself of this feeling. His eyes became soft and a small sigh escaped his lips.

So he walked.

After a few minutes, he shed the trench coat, folding it up in his arms. His tie billowed softly in the breeze and the sweat that was accumulating on his brow was beginning to make him think differently of an angel's willpower. He felt more alone when he did not hear the animals chatter or the flowers whisper. He felt as though everything around him was dead. There were no birds to screech at his presence and there were no animals to scatter at his footsteps. All was quiet and it irked the angel. His skin crawled, seemingly unable to scratch at.

The heaviness in his step became heavier. His breath became harsh. What was this? Castiel tried to accumulate saliva to parch his dry mouth but none was to come. Was this Jimmy? Was the human starting to surface as he did during Famine? The angel agreed that the human needed water occasionally, sometimes a bite to eat but he had never needed it this badly. Castiel's eyes began to focus in and out. Squinting he tried to make out the beaten road to wherever he was headed but to no avail. It seemed as though a shroud of black befell him. Oddly, the angel welcomed whatever was to come. If it was sleep, he would gladly take it.

If it was death, well he would gladly take that as well.

XXXXX

"So what did he do?" Sam asked simply to Meg who was slouched in a chair reading an outdated magazine.

The demon looked up from the pages and rolled her eyes. She sighed and slapped the reading down. "Look, Sam. I don't wanna offend you but you and your little moose brain wouldn't really understand, kay?"

Sam shook his head and crossed his arms. "Meg, I'll understand. Don't forget I was under a demons thumb for a while."

Meg chuckled. "Oh yeah, that's right. Ruby." She laughed at the younger Winchesters incompetence. "Please, Sam, spare me the details and I'll spare you mine."

"Tell me." Sam demanded lowly.

Meg silenced herself. He was serious and he damned well should be. Castiel was his friend, the angel practically saved his ass every second.

"Lately, Cas has been having these weird dreams where his brother, Baltha-whatever, will come to him and ask him to meet him."

"Balthazar?"

The demon nodded. "Yeah, him. Anyways, Cas is convinced that ever since he's been having the dreams, that Balthy is still alive and kickin'."

"So what does this have to do with you?"

Meg's eyes glared at the prying Winchester. "I was just about to get to that, you impatient sap."

Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes. He sat back in a chair, giving Meg his attention.

"So the other night, I assume Balthazar came to Cas and warned him."

"About what?"

"Me."

Sam leaned forward, his eyebrow raising. "You?"

The demon nodded. "I asked him why the hell he should be careful of me and he just said..." Meg stopped as if she was forbidden to say such things.

"What, Meg. What did he say that could piss you off so much?"

"He called me by my true name. Lamia."

Sam's brows furrowed together. "Lamia." He repeated.

The demon nodded. "That's me." Meg said with an unamused smirk. "Look, it's a long story that goes on for centuries. I'm sure you know that all demons have true names." She points to Sam. "Like Ruby. Ruby isn't actually her real name, that was just an-" She paused for a moment to think of her words. "An alias if you will. They are given to us so that we can disguise ourselves from hunters, like you. Our aliases don't show up in books or lore and that's how most of us slip right from under you."

"I've read about Lamia."

"I'll bet you have."

"You're the man devouring demon?"

Meg chuckled. "Oh, honey, I gave that up ages ago. I changed when Lucifer did."

"When Lucifer changed?"

Meg nodded, leaning up against the wall, crossing her arms. "Lucifer changed when he realized that there was a way he could get out. When he realized that there were two boys that were unintentionally on their way to free him from the Cage."

"So all of his followers," Sam rose an eyebrow and threw up his slender fingers for appropriate air quotes. "Changed."

"Not everyone."

"But why you?"

"Because I believed him. I was a sucker and I believed that fool.. it was my mistake." Meg turned around, pacing back and forth slowly. "And when I found out that shit was being flushed down the toilet, I got the hell outta dodge and changed."

"Who knows?"

"It doesn't matter who knows... I just didn't want Clarence to know."

"Who?"

Meg faced the Winchester and rolled her eyes. "Cas you bird brain."

Sam shook his head, tossing away her insult. "Well you did a pretty good job of pissing him off."

"I pissed _him_ off?" Meg retorted harshly. "He pissed _me_ the hell off! The only thing he did was give me those damned puppy eyes and got out of the car."

Sam didn't respond to her. There was no reason for further explanation.

XXXXX

Dean drove silently down the seemingly endless dirt road. He was looking for a pouting baby in a trench coat who probably looked like a lost idiot. He hope that Cas stuck to the main road and didn't stray from it. The rumble of the Impala was comforting, like it always was. The only thing he could think about was his friend, alone, and most likely confused. The angel was a target for all things Leviathan right now and it would really put a damper on their plans if he was caught be them.

While he was cruising down the road, one hand on the wheel, the other out the window, he spotted a figure about a hundred yards out, the heat waves dispersing the image cruelly. He sat up a little, looking ahead to see if it was indeed the angel in question. When he came upon him, he slowed the car to the side of the road and rolled down the passenger window. Castiel was sitting quietly in the dirt, coat folded up as a seat and the blazer hung loosely from his slim form.

"Cas?" Dean called. "You wanna hop in?"

The angel looked up, his eyes damp with what he would say were tears. He was so childlike nowadays that Dean could barely handle it. He was just a lost and lonely little boy.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel remarked.

The man jerked his head to the left, "Get in."

Castiel rose to his feet and gathered his dirty coat. He slid slowly into the seat and sighed deeply. "Thank you for coming."

"Ah you know, always there for you, buddy." He made a U-turn and began driving back to the cabin. "So I head your girlfriend dumped you out here."

Castiel looked at Dean with a glint of confusion in his blue hues. "She not my girlfriend." He stated simply. "She's just..." He trailed off, looking out the window.

"Right so, girlfriend." Dean insisted sarcastically.

The angel was then silent as he continued his stare out the window. Dean shook his head. What was he going to do with him? The man wondered if what Meg did to him really hit him that badly. She was a fierce creature that twisted and turned every waking moment of the day. Good or bad, Meg was a spitfire waiting to be ignited into living hell. She had so much bottled up, Dean could tell that about her, but he wasn't about to play couples counselor.

So the ride back was quiet, Dean wouldn't ask much of Castiel right now.

XXXXX

Meg heard the Impala role into the driveway and a little part inside her hopped with excitement. She felt bad, but only slightly. Castiel angered her, simple as that. And she wasn't suitable to deal with an emotionally unstable angel with daddy issues. Dean swung open the door, Castiel in tow.

"I fetched your boyfriend, Meg. You're lucky he was pouting on the side of the road."

"He's not my boy-" Meg started harshly. "Whatever..." She sighed and turned away from them.

She sensed Dean whisper something into the angel's ear and he left the room with a grumble.

She was alone with him. Again. This time, however, it was uncomfortable. Both of them were unwilling to speak to the other. It seemed as if hours had past by until the angel finally piped in.

"Meg I didn't mean to upset you."

"Sure you didn't." She hissed. "You never mean to upset anyone."

"I didn't know that about you."

"And I was planning on keeping it from you."

"Why?" He inquired with a sad loft in his voice.

"Because I _hated_ that me. I hated being that disgusting piece of work." She muttered.

"I don't care what you are, Meg." Castiel said quietly. "You know I would never think differently of you."

She rose from her chair and prowled towards him menacingly, as if she was about to throw a punch at him. The angel didn't move an inch, he look down at her, those damned eyes of his pooling with concern. They were mere inches apart and all Meg could do was stare into those torrents of blue.

Her jaw clenched and she shook her head, brown curls tossing about. "You don't know me, Cas."

"I would like to." He replied. "If you would let me."

Meg look up at him and grabbed his chin forcibly. She held him there for a moment, boring her deep umber eyes right through him. The demon smirked and moved her hand from his chin to scrap his jaw roughly.

"I had a feeling you'd say that, Clarence." She moved in, her lips brushing across his, feeling his hot breath on her cheeks. Meg crushed her lips upon his and grabbed a fistful of his black hair. She hungrily took his kiss as if it was the only thing that would allow her to live. He responded by placing a hand on the back of her neck and squeezing until she growled, breaking the kiss to bit his bottom lip until she drew blood. They stood there like that for a moment until Castiel smiled like a big goof and in turn, making Meg shake her head and laugh. She placed her forehead on his and kissed his nose softly on the tip.

"I **am** sorry, Meg."

"Yeah, yeah, Cas." She waved him off and kissed him again, this time more sincere. "I know."

**A/N: That's a good 10 pages of Megstiel goodness! Leave a review, it help me out a lot! Love you guys!**


	8. The Story so far Under Soil and Dirt

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

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**I don't have anything to say... enjoy chapter 8!**

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**Chapter 8: The Story So Far Under Soil And Dirt**

It was boring here. The cabin was in the middle of nowhere. There was nothing to do, nowhere to go... Meg was holed up here with the Hardy Boys and her angel. They were patiently awaiting _the_ day. The day that they would storm Sucrocorp. They had the bone of Sister Mary Constant, the blood of an Alpha, and the blood of a fallen angel. They only needed Crowley's. Every time the boys tried to summon The King of Hell, he would not appear. Sam would calm his brother by telling him that Crowley was probably doing more important things. However, Dean would retort by proclaiming that at this point in time, _they_ were the most important thing, as selfish as it sounded.

Castiel was not much help. He popped in and out all day. Dean would regularly demand where he had gone, questioning Meg first. The demon would roll her eyes and brush him off because, to be brutally honest, Meg had no clue where Cas had gone. She guessed, however, that he was most likely searching for Balthazar.

Sam had told Dean what Meg said to him the day before. About Lamia, about Cas having dreams of his supposed dead brother. The older Winchester thought it was just Cas' bird brain, but Meg warned him about insulting the angel's sanity right now. It offended him, and it offended Meg. She would never admit it but she had a soft spot for that damned angel and his scrambled brains. She took care of him, lest not forget. She chatted with him when no one else would. She read him her favorite columns from her magazines when all's he wanted was to hear her speak. But the one thing that Castiel appreciated most was when he would wake from a horrible and tormented nightmare, only to have her hold him while he tried not to cry like the child he knew he was. Castiel was young and he was stupid. There was still so much he had to learn. Meg knew this. She was not as old as the angel but she knew how much it took to grow up, to fill in the shoes of a being that would most likely live forever.

Meg tapped her foot on the wooden floor and welcomed the silence with a small smile. The cabin was empty, Sam and Dean off doing Sam and Dean things, and Cas was still gone. Flapping pointlessly somewhere. Meg fingered through her magazine that Dean bought her, it was filled with worthless celebrity gossip that somehow she found entertaining. There was then a strange feeling in her gut that twisted about. Her heart beat a little quicker and her skin prickled with goosebumps. There was a gust of wind and the lights above her head burst, tiny shards of glass raining down. The demon shouted a profanity and shot out of her chair. She instinctively grabbed the angel blade that hid itself within her jacket. Turning around sharply, she pointed the blade forward only for it to be met with the skin of one she did not wish to harm.

Meg's entire body shook with pure adrenaline. "Castiel." She muttered. The blade fell to her side. "Don't scare me like that _ever_ again." She shook her head and glared at the angel. She then noticed that blank look in the his eyes. He was soaking wet, black hair slicked to his head, trench coat dripping onto the floor. His icy blue hues were stoney, staring at the demon with a strange intensity.

Meg cocked her head to the side only slightly and eyed the angel oddly. "You ok, feathers?"

She noticed that Castiel was physically _shaking_. She wasn't sure if it was because of fear or simply being cold. She snapped her fingers in front of his expressionless face. "Hello?" Grabbing his shoulder, she gave him an urgent shake. "Earth to Clarence!"

The angel shook his head slightly, blinked a few times blindly, and then exhaled softly. "Meg...?" He questioned unsurely, as if she was an illusion. He then noticed that he was dripping wet with rain, the bottom of his coat soaked in mud, and his hands were shaking. His fingers twitched to reach out to the demon, but he hesitated. The look she was giving him was that of pinned terror. Her eyes were deep, saddening almost. She looked him up and down, anything that stuck out of the ordinary, she picked up. There was something wrong with her angel... she just didn't know what and seemed too intent on his condition rather than questioning him.

"Where were you?"

Castiel looked up at the ceiling, as if he though someone was staring down at him. "I was..." He paused, unsure of his situation. "I was looking for Balthazar when there was a great flash of white light." His large hands extended in an outward motion, like they were fireworks. His fingers were trembling. "Then I was lying in a field of grass..." He brought his arm to his face and nuzzled it, wiping away the water. "I heard a voice."

Meg cocked her head only slightly. "I don't understand." She piped.

Castiel's piercing blue eyes were wide open, as if he was seeing a ghost. "Neither do I."

The demon grabbed his arm and shoved him onto the couch. "You need to rest or something." She commanded. "You look like shit."

The angel chuckled a little. "Well thank you for not lying."

She plopped down next to him and grabbed his face in her small hands. "Who?" She asked simply.

"I-" The angel trailed off. "It's stupid."

Meg shook her head. "No it's not."

Castiel sucked in a breath. He felt as if he was unworthy to say the name upon his lips. Unworthy of speaking the truth. "I think it was God."

Her eyebrows rose intently. "God?" She scoffed and laughed outwardly, seemingly offending Castiel as his body language changed dramatically. He began to get squeamish, and then defensive in less than a second. His stone cold eyes squinted and he frowned. She picked up on this. She seemed to have learnt all of his mannerisms nowadays. "Sorry..." She said softly. "I just thought he was gone or," She waved her hands aimlessly in the air. "Dead."

Castiel did not respond which meant Meg had to make him. "What would he want from you?" She tried to sound concerning but it came out somewhat scrutinizing.

The angel's head drooped and he rubbed his hands over his face. "I don't know." He sighed, looking back to her. "Maybe it was just my imagination but I could have sworn he was there..."

"Maybe he was, feathers..." She ran her hand through his wet hair and grabbed the back of his neck affectionately. "Maybe he was." She wanted to reassure him that his deadbeat dad was still kicking but she just had no evidence. No ground to stand on. She most certainly believed in the holy figure, she was terrified of him. Dead or not, the great visage of God frightened her. He was mighty and powerful. She would have to admit that he was stronger than Lucifer himself. Meg inwardly scolded herself for speaking against her Father but it was true. Lucifer was just a bratty little boy who didn't get his way.

Castiel leaned in, placing his forehead on her own. To Meg, it almost seemed as if the poor little lion man fed off affection. He needed to be told that he was good, righteous, and loyal. He needed to be helped up and then held up. She was that one anchor that he seemed to hold onto the most. He bolted himself down to the earth, becoming one with the life that resided there. She would admire him from afar at times, watching him speak in Enochian tongue to the flowers or, even cuter, the bees. Meg would not admit it outwardly, but the angel _was_ adorable. He was innocent and Meg took advantage of that. He was a child just looking for his foreground.

There was the subtle rumble of the Impala outside of the cabin and the demon sighed. Castiel looked at her almost helplessly as she stood up. Meg noticed this and scoffed. She bent down and pecked the angel on the nose, pulling a small smile to his lips.

XXXXX

Meg greeted the boys at the front, the smudged devil's trap faded on the wooded floor. Dean threw a bag onto the couch and Sam opened two beers.

"Anything from Cas?" Dean asked.

Meg shook her head and snatched the beer from Sam's hand. The younger Winchester scoffed and fished out another. "He's only saying the usual." Meg took a swig. "The whole 'I don't fight anymore' speech."

Dean muttered something under his breath and began gathering ingredients to attempt to summon Crowley again. Meg eyed Castiel as he emerged from the bedroom, that stupid smile plastered to his face.

"Ah," The angel perked. "Trying Crowley again?"

Sam offered him a beer in which Castiel turned down. "Third times the charm."

Castiel put his hands up defensively while Dean rummaged around for a box of matches. "Now you understand," He began, walking towards the table which had the bone and blood. "I don't participate in aggressive activity." The angel picked up the bone and took a whiff, smiling he placed it down again. "Sister Mary Constant." Castiel smiled stupidly. "Good choice."

Dean looked fed up with his friends seemingly unintentional procrastinating. "Why'd you go to Meg, Cas?" The Winchester asked, almost as if he was offended.

"When I left, I wanted to observe the flowers." The angel started. "And fruit. Flowers come first obviously." He paused briefly to gaze at Meg who was watching him intently from the other side of the room. "But I heard nothing from them."

"Heard nothing from who?" Sam questioned.

"The Garrison." Castiel said lowly.

Sam looked to Dean who was in as much confusion as himself. "What happened to The Garrison?"

"Well, finally the silence was deafening so I went to look." He stepped down from the stair and approached Meg wearily. As if she was going to continue for him. "You know... Leviathan can _kill_ angels. That's the reason my Father locked them in Purgatory." Castiel watched at his information sunk in. "They're gone... the entire Garrison dead. If there's anyone left at all, they're in hiding."

Dean took a step towards the angel and pointed to him questionably. "Uh, I'm sorry... the angel's are _dead_? Where's Kevin?"

Castiel seemed distant now, only seconds later. "I could steal them from their cages, the monkeys..."

Dean was taken aback by his remark and started at the angel bewildered.

"But where would I put them all?" Castiel asked himself.

"Hey! Focus!" Dean clapped his hands together loudly, making the angel flinch. "Is Kevin alive?"

"I don't want to fight..." Castiel blurted.

Dean put his hands up, "No I'm not-" He trailed off and sighed, growing impatient with the angel. "We're worried." He stated simply.

"They took him. He's alive."

Meg cut in by inquiring about the bowl of ingredients to summon The King of Hell. "I hope you know that Crowley could still-"

"Show up at anytime..." Crowley spoke loudly behind the group. "Hello boys. Sorry I'm late." He looked to every being in the room and smirked. "This is an embarrassment of riches." The demon looked to Meg and his expression became more sublime, as if he knew what was in store for his favorite chew toy. "Stay. Wont you? There's really no point in running now."

Meg tensed up. She wasn't about to sit around here and wait for Crowley to rip her to pieces. She really hated that smarmy asshole. She felt frozen but there was a surge of "fight or flight" rumbling in her gut. She chose flight. With one quick bound, the demon lurched towards the door, trying her best not to get halted. But Crowley was already on her heels.

He blocked her flight option. "And don't even think about smoking out, pussy cat. I got eyes all over this place."

"Leave her be." Castiel demanded. Looking to Meg, his eyes were stone, fists clenched, and shoulders squared. If Meg didn't know better, she would say that Castiel looked ready to knock Crowley into next week if he put a finger on her.

The King of Hell moved away from Meg and strutted toward the wavering being. "Castiel." He deadpanned. "When last we spoke you, well, enslaved me. I'm confused... why aren't you _dead_?"

Castiel eyed the demon blatantly. "I... don't know."

Crowley bristled. "Well do you _want_ to be?" Advancing towards the angel merely a step, his voice became sinister. "Cause I can help with that."

"Alright enough." Dean cut in.

"It's enough when I say. I came here to help you, find out you're lying to me. Harboring an angel. And not just any angel. The one angel I most want to _crush_ between my _teeth_!"

"Oh so you can crush angel's now, huh?" Meg retorted sarcastically.

Crowley turned to her, unamused with her sudden confidence. "You bore me. You know that? You have no sense of poetry."

He then turned back to the Winchesters and Castiel. "Now. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Well, I'm still... honing my communication strategy." Castiel squinted in focus. "You know, I haven't even been back to Heaven." He then plastered that cheeky smile on his face. "I keep thinking, 'there are no insects up there!" But here we have trillions. They're making honey, silk... miracles really."

Crowley was outwardly dumbfounded by Castiel's pointless speech. "What are you talking about?"

"Um..." Castiel wavered a little, unsure where to continue. "Preferring insects to angels, I guess." He then got giddy, reaching into his coat pocket as he approached Crowley. "Here." Pulling out a full baggie of honey. "I can offer a token, if you'd like." He held the bag in front of him, eyeing the gooey substance. "It's honey. I collected it myself." Castiel admired the yellow sweet with pride.

Crowley stared at the angel with utter confusion. "You're off your rocker." He stated simply.

Castiel seemed a little offended as he stuffed the honey back into his pocket and receded back towards the Winchesters.

"He's off his rocker!" Crowley shouted, snatching up a shot of whiskey from the table. "Well Karma's a bitch, isn't it?"

"Pick a battle!" Dean demanded quickly. He just wanted this to end as quickly as possible.

Sniffing the golden liquid, the demon's face turned into disgust and he placed it back down. "Well I'm vexed... text me when sparkles here retrieves his marbles, I suppose. Meanwhile," Crowley fingered through his jacket only to pull out a vile of blood. "A presi."

"Really?" Sam asked skeptically. "Just all boxed up and ready to go?"

"I'm a model of efficiency."

"Is that so?" Sam began. "Then why were you late?"

The demon shrugged. "Dick had me in a devil trap." He stated simply. "He's not an idiot. He knows what you two are after."

"So what did he offer you?" Sam asked.

"A fair deal." Crowley rose an eyebrow. "In exchange for giving you the wrong blood... it's demon. But is it mine?" He shook the vile around lightly, teasing the last piece of the puzzle in front of them.

"It's my blood. Real deal."

"And why should we trust you?" Dean demanded.

Crowley rolled his eyes. "Good god don't! Never trust anyone." He took a few steps toward Castiel who looked like a kicked puppy. "A lesson I learned from my last business partner."

"Alright." Dean started. "Give us the blood."

"Certainly... Oh, Meg?" He turned to the smaller demon. "I'm gonna scoop you up. Take you home. And roast you till you're jerky."

Castiel advanced towards Crowley, his hands returning to fists. Dean shuffled in front of him, as if he was trying to prevent the angel from ripping the demon's head clean from his shoulders. In which Dean knew he was still fully capable of.

"_But_ not yet." The King of Hell smirked wickedly. "Cas can have you for now. Hilariously, it seems as if he'd be 'upset' at losing you. And the boys need Cas to get Dick." He eyed the angel. "Don't they, Cas?"

"Oh I... I don't fight anymore."

"Come on... given the particulars of your enemies. Sadly, you're vital."

Crowley huffed and shook his head at the mess that was Castiel. He then tossed the vial of blood to Sam and was gone before they could blink.

XXXXX

"Well," Dean began. "This is it."

Sam nodded.

Pouring the blood over the bone, Dean waited for some kind of ridiculous explosion, but alas, there was none. "Alright..." He muttered. "Let's get some shut eye."

Everyone receded into their rightful room as Meg sat on the couch, listening to the nightlife outside. She could pick up on tree frogs, crickets, and the occasional wolf. The symphony that was tugging at her ears prompted her to go outside and sit on the porch. As she did, the cold, which oddly seemed to bother her at the moment, nipped at her exposed skin. She had left her jacket inside, no desire to fetch it. Meg rubbed her hands up and down her arms, attempting to create some friction. It was useless. Exhaling deeply, the demon gazed at the stars above her head. She marveled at them for a moment when the subtle descend of heavy, black wings fell upon her ears.

"Hello, Meg." Castiel greeted quietly.

"Hello to yourself, feathers." The demon patted the spot next to her on the wooden porch. Castiel complied with her silent request and sat beside her, the wood creaking loudly.

"Are you ready... for tomorrow, I mean?"

Meg nodded. "I guess."

Castiel turned to face her and he smiled in the dark, just a faint trace of his lips tugging upward. "Thank you, Meg."

The demon shook her head and laughed a little. "When are you gonna stop thanking me, Clarence?"

"Until you have something to thank me for."

She rose an eyebrow, "Oh yeah?"

Castiel nodded.

Meg smiled slyly. "Well ok then."

**A/N: Duckies! I hope you're enjoying! Leave a review, it really help me out! And look forward to Ch. 9!**


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